Saturday, June 05, 2010

the firsts become lasts

Yesterday morning, as I have most mornings over the past 24 years, I woke a child up for school. Counting day care years, this has been my morning routine for 27 years. And I realized that it was the last time I'd do so... Our youngest had his last final in high school yesterday, and all that remains are things like graduation rehearsals (later in the day) and senior banquets, and of course, graduation.

He'll be off to college in the fall, and will have to depend on his alarm clock instead of mom. And I will have to rely on his alarm clock, too, to provide the safety net I've been for years...

But I recognize the punctuation mark here. I started having kids pretty young, so it's hard to remember when getting myself up in the morning was the sum of my morning responsibility. I'm returning to that state - a freedom long forgotten, one I wasn't even cogniscient of when last I had it! I can't say I'll miss the not-always-welcome receptions I got waking them up in the morning, but I don't yet know how it feels not to be needed.


Paul Mooney said...

Marueen.. I was the last to leave the nest. Believe me, you will always be needed!

Maria Helm said...

You are giving me a glimpse of my future. This fall, my oldest starts HS and youngest starts middle. Already, I sometimes have awkward moments when I realize they don't need me. I can't imagine ... I won't even try... But I will just say, now is the time for you to rediscover your own dreams. (And, as Paul said, they will still need you...just in different ways.)